


fifty thousand dollars, some cocaine, and a passed out criminal

by ReedBalloon



Category: Carmilla - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 23:44:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10932480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReedBalloon/pseuds/ReedBalloon
Summary: Laura was angry, behind on bills, and just been fired, so the natural response when someone suddenly opened the passenger side door as she waited at the lights, threw a backpack into the back seat, pointed a gun at her and said drive, was “piss off.”In which Carmilla chooses the wrong getaway driver.





	fifty thousand dollars, some cocaine, and a passed out criminal

Laura was angry, behind on bills, and just been fired, so the natural response when someone suddenly opened the passenger side door as she waited at the lights, threw a backpack into the back seat, pointed a gun at her and said drive, was “piss off.”

The dark haired girl who held the gun seemed surprised by the answer, taking a moment to frown and at a loss what to say. Laura waited, staring at her patiently.

“That’s not the usual response,” was the reply.

“I’ve had a bad day.”

Gunshots rang out, mercifully not by the gun pointed at Laura’s face, and they both ducked. “It’s about to get a whole lot worse, cupcake, so I advise you drive.”

The lights changed and Laura gunned it. There was more gunshots, and Laura was resigned to the fact she would have to add car repair to the bills she couldn’t afford.

“Take a left.”

Laura considered ignoring the brusque demand out of spite for being told what to do, but complied given that the gun was still held tightly in the girl’s hand.

The left took them down an alleyway and onto another street, which Laura was instructed to carry on down.

“Where are we going?” The girl looked curiously at her tone, which was filled with irritability and not the fear usually associated with having a passenger that was armed.

“Just trying to lose them.”

“Who?”

“Don’t concern your pretty little head with that, cutie, just keep on driving.”

“What’s in the bag?”

“Fifty thousand dollars and some cocaine. Go down this road here.”

Laura really didn’t like being told what to do. “And I’m assuming the people with guns also want the fifty thousand dollars and some cocaine.”

“You catch on quick. Stop here.”

Her foot hovered over the accelerating, but she relented if it would get the stranger out of her car quicker. She parked and the gun was put away.

“Thanks for the lift. Maybe see you around, cutie.” The girl grinned as she reached back to grab the backpack, opening the car door and winking as she swung it over her shoulder.

Laura started the engine and drove away. She wondered how far the girl would get before she discovered she had a backpack with Laura’s laptop and sandwich in, not fifty thousand dollars and some cocaine.

//

She got as far the threshold of her apartment, ripping open the backpack to find a MacBook and a cheese and tomato baguette.

That’s what Carmilla got, really, for choosing a non-descript black backpack to carry valuable things in.

She ate the baguette as she hacked into the laptop, finding out the person who currently had her money was called Laura Hollis and lived twenty minutes away. All Carmilla could hope for was that no one had caught up to her and killed her before she could retrieve her property.

There was a small part of her that was curious about someone who reacted to carjacking with obvious annoyance.

But there was a bigger part that really wanted her money back.

//

She picked the lock and entered the apartment, not expecting something cold pressed against the back of her neck once she stepped in and closed the door. For a blinding moment she thought she had underestimated the driver and it was a gun, but then she recognised the two small cold points and figured taser.

“Turn around slowly,” a voice behind her said. Carmilla smiled at the attempt at sound authoritative but complied, facing Laura who was scowling and holding the taser in a surprisingly steady grip. “Hands up.”

“What about the gun?”

“Drop the gun.”

“Whilst my hands are up?”

“Drop it first.” She winced as it hit the ground. The safety was on, so no worry about it going off, but Laura didn’t need to know that. “Now kick it over.”

Carmilla smirked. “You’re a foot away from me.”

“Then nudge it over.”

“Okay.” She did, and Laura pushed the taser and forced Carmilla back a step. “So what now, cupcake?”

“Do you have any more weapons?”

“Do you want to pat me down to find out?”

Laura scowled. “What do you want?”

“The pleasure of your company. I thought we really hit it off.”

“It’s like you think I won’t use this.”

“I’m Carmilla.”

“Stop it.”

“You have my stuff.”

“You have mine.”

Carmilla gestured with her finger to the backpack she had on. She moved slowly to take it, but figured the taser was for show and Laura wouldn’t use it. She held out the backpack. “I ate the sandwich.” Laura snatched the bag. “Now can I have my stuff?”

“No.”

“No?”

“That’s what I said.”

“Did you look in it?”

“Yes.”

“And you still want it?”

“It’s a lot of money.”

“And cocaine.”

“I’m sure I’ll find someone who wants it.”

Carmilla had the mental image of the small girl with animals on her sweater trying to shift a kilogram of cocaine. She was also having time to appreciate how cute she was, now that there wasn’t any bullets heading their way, and that just made the image more amusing. “Look, I think it’s great that you have the confidence to currently do what you’re doing, but I really need to insist on you giving me my stuff back.”

“No.”

Carmilla went to move, and found out she was wrong about Laura not using the taser.

//

She dropped the taser as soon as she had dropped Carmilla. She hadn’t meant to press it, but before now had never had the chance to use it since it was given to her seven years ago.

Carmilla hit the back of her head against the sofa on the way down and was now motionless on the floor.

Laura didn’t think her day could proceed to worse after getting fired, but hadn’t anticipated fifty thousand dollars, some cocaine, and a passed out criminal all in her apartment.

//

Carmilla woke up and groaned. Sometime cold was pressed into the back of her head and she was lying on something soft. It took a moment to piece together what happened.

She cracked open her eyes to find Laura hovering above her looking concerned. She quickly schooled her expression when she saw Carmilla looking, but not quick enough that Carmilla didn’t see.

The coldness on her head turned out to be ice, she found out when she sat up, rubbing the ache at the back of her head.

“You tasered me.”

“I told you not to move.”

“You didn’t, actually.”

Laura still held the taser, which Carmilla eyed with a lot more trepidation than before. “You should keep the ice on your head. You hit it when you fell.”

“When I fell? You tasered me.”

“Well, you came in here with a gun, so I think this makes us even.”

Laura took a seat on the coffee table, facing Carmilla, who swung her legs from the sofa so she could sit up.

“Are you still not going to give me my stuff?”

“No.”

“You know people are after it.”

“Yeah, but they’ll never find me.”

“What if I told them?”

“You won’t.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because you want it, and you probably think it’s easier to take it from me than them.”

“I did, but that was before the whole tasering incident.”

Laura had the audacity to smile, like Carmilla had just paid her a compliment, and Carmilla was annoyed by the urge to smile back. It was quelled by her aching body and the stinging in her neck.

“You’re the one who came into my car,” Laura reminded her.

“It seemed the best option at the time.”

“How did that work out for you?” Carmilla refused to be endeared by the small smile that Laura wore.

“I’ve had better plans,” she grumbled. “I really want that money back, Laura.”

“I want it too.”

“It’s mine.”

“Did you steal it?”

“No, Laura, I just thought it was a nice day to go walking with my fifty grand and cocaine.”

“It doesn’t count if you stole it.”

“What doesn’t count?”

“Is it morally unsound to thieve from a thief?”

“I don’t give a fuck what’s morally unsound, give me the money back.”

She went to stand up, recognising her mistake a second too late when the taser was pressed into her neck again.

//

If she kept tasing people, they were going to have a harder time believing it was an accident.

Once Carmilla had stopped twitching she lay her back on the couch and returned the icepack to the back of her head.

She debated just how creepy and invasive it was to appreciate the attractiveness of the person you had just tasered for a second time, and looked away when she decided it was near the top.

The loud groan Carmilla made when she woke up a while later did nothing to dispel Laura’s attempts at not being creepy and invasive.

Carmilla opened her eyes again and looked over to where Laura sat on the coffee table, giving her a meek smile. She received a scowl in return.

“Would you believe me if I told you it was an accident?”

“Once is an accident. Two is a pattern.”

“Sorry.”

“You know, most people in my life haven’t tasered me once. I’ve known you for an afternoon and it’s already my second time.”

She removed the icepack again and Laura tutted. “You should leave that on.”

“I’m not taking medical advice from someone who tasered me.”

“You’re really hung up on that.”

“If I sit up are you going to do it again?”

“No.”

“I’d prefer it if you put it out of reach.”

Laura debated refusing, but Carmilla was right in that she did seem to be developing a pattern. Plus Laura had been learning Krav Maga since she was eight, and Carmilla was spindly and been electrocuted twice in a matter of hours, so she felt like she could win in a fight.

She turned the taser off and threw it onto a chair the other side of the room.

“Better?”

“Well, it’s not worse.”

Carmilla sat up. “So,” she said conversationally, “Since we seem to be getting nowhere with you giving me my property back.”

“Stolen property.”

“I was still talking.”

“I’d give you the bag back but you ate my sandwich.”

“As I was saying, you’re being an unreasonable prick.” Laura smiled. Carmilla was awake so she felt less guilty about admiring how pretty she was, even if she was scowling and would probably shoot her given the opportunity. “So how are we going to solve this?”

“Ideally, you’d leave me the money and go.”

“Ideally, you can go fuck yourself.”

“You take the drugs and I keep the money?”

“No.”

“Half and half?”

“Those people that left bullet dents in your car? They’re going to come back for it. For you.”

“I told you, they don’t know who I am.”

“And what if they read your number plate?”

Laura hadn’t thought of that. She tried to look like she had. “It will be fine.”

“How?” Carmilla was smirking now, having found a gap in Laura’s plan. “I’m fairly certain you can’t tase an entire gang.”

“Did you steal it from them?”

“Kind of.” Carmilla waved her hand. “Semantics aren’t important. What is important, is that I risked my life to get that stuff, and I’d like it back.”

“Why?”

“Why do you want it?”

“Bills.”

“Bills? You’re willing to risk your life with dodgy money because of bills?”

“And student loan.”

“My god.”

“I got fired today.”

“I’m not surprised if this is how your logic works.”

“There’s no need to be mean.”

“Sorry. I’m just feeling crabby, what with all the times I’ve been electrocuted today.”

“Twice.”

“More than I woke up expecting.”

“Why do you need it so bad?”

Carmilla sighed. “I also have debt, okay. But the people I owe it to will do worse than send me a strongly worded letter.”

Laura considered her, sitting on her coach looking earnest. She kept rubbing at the taser marks on her neck, and Laura tried to quash any guilt, reminding herself of the gun still lying on her floor. “So if you don’t get the money, you’ll be hurt.”

“Yes. And I like my fingers.” She wiggled them, smirking when she saw Laura’s eyes flicker to them and then blush.

“You’re still not having it.”

“You’d assume responsibility to me loosing key body parts?”

“You could be lying.”

“How much bills and student loan have you racked up that you require sixty grand?”

“I thought there was fifty.”

“The drugs.”

“That’s worth ten?”

“See, you don’t even know the street value of cocaine and you think you can take on a gang?”

Laura was starting to think she was right. She had been in a bad mood when Carmilla had got into her car, and an even worse one when she had broken into her apartment. But now she had calmed a bit, and was starting to see clear flaws in her plan. But, she was nothing if not committed.

“I only need twenty.”

“I need it all.”

“Get me twenty and I’ll tell you where it is.”

“It’s not in the apartment?”

“I’m not that stupid.”

Carmilla pinched her nose and closed her eyes with a sigh. Laura smiled. That was the sigh people used when she got her way and they hated it.

“Fine,” Carmilla said finally, fixing her with a look. “But you’re helping me get it.”

//

They took Laura’s car, because Carmilla had got a bus, and when Laura went to pick up the taser she was told in no uncertain terms that that wasn’t happening.

Laura sulked, but relented. Carmilla scratched at her neck again, and Laura told her wait a moment, coming back with some cream.

“For the…” she trailed off, gesturing to her neck.

“Burn marks from the taser?” Carmilla snatched the cream without a thank you and rubbed a bit on. It was soothing, but she wasn’t going to admit that. “If I find out you’ve snuck it anywhere I’m leaving you in a gang war.”

“I haven’t.”

“God forbid you accidently use it again.”

“The air quotes aren’t necessary, Carmilla.”

There was a brief argument about who was driving, which Carmilla won and grabbed the keys with a smirk, and they both got in.

“Where you planning on taking money and drugs on a bus?” Laura asked curiously.

“Honestly, I was planning on stealing your car once I got it.”

“Okay, rude.” Carmilla started the car and began driving. “Where are we going?”

“First to dump this junk and get something better.”

Laura actually gasped, showing more horror at the thought of getting rid of the contraption she dared call a car than being threatened. “You can’t.”

“Bullet holes in a car invite questions, cupcake, questions such as why does your car have bullet holes.”

“There’s three. Four at max.”

“You’re bad at estimating how many times something should happen, do you know that?”

“But what about when someone finds it?”

“I’ll leave the keys in. In this town even this thing will be stolen in no time.” Carmilla took them to a carpark and parked up, gesturing for Laura to get out. She was looking at the car mournfully. “Do you want a moment to say goodbye?” She meant the question as mocking, but Laura nodded so she sighed and went to find a respectable car she could take.

//

“Straka will have twenty grand in his safe, no problem,” Carmilla said as they parked on the street outside a warehouse. “Once he leaves I’ll go get it.”

“Go get it?” said Laura, dubious about her casual tone. “Just like that.”

“Well, no, there will be intervening steps, but nothing you need to worry about.”

“Then why am I here?”

“To keep watch.” Carmilla looked over at her. “You’re the one who wanted the money.”

She was right, and Laura didn’t really have much to use to argue against that. “How long will it take?”

Carmilla shrugged. “It takes as long as it takes.”

Laura huffed at the non-answer and sat back in the seat, crossing her arms. Carmilla was still looking at her, making no move to hide her amusement. “What?”

“Just imagining you trying to sell cocaine.”

“I could sell cocaine,” Laura protested, feeling strangely insulted.

Carmilla just chuckled. “So what do you do, then? For a job. Or did.”

“I’m a journalist.”

Carmilla let her head fall back and closed her eyes in dismay. “I’m about to steal from a gang with a journalist in the car,” she muttered. “Fucking great.”

“Obviously I’m not going to write about this.”

“Obviously.”

“What do you do, just steal things?”

“Kind of. Occasionally. I was running a job and needed money, expecting to have at least three times that when I finished.” She sighed. “I was wrong.”

“So you stole it?”

“It’s better to have those guys after me than the ones who are currently. At least they don’t know me.”

“Is this on or off the record?” Laura grinned and held her hands up when Carmilla whipped to look at her. “Kidding.”

Carmilla let out a frustrated breath and faced leant her head back again. “Why were you fired?”

“I wrote an article my boss didn’t like.”

“On what?”

“This CEO that was embezzling his own company and committing so much fraud they should name a scheme after him. I went to my editor about it and he told me I needed to stop digging, but I looked into it closer and found out they were old school friends. Figured he must be getting a payoff to keep quiet.”

“And you still pursued it?”

“Of course,” Laura said, like it was obvious. “I was hoping to sneak it into someone else’s paper. I didn’t care about the credit, but I didn’t like being told to shut up.”

“You didn’t care about the credit?” Carmilla asked dubiously. Laura looked across to Carmilla watching her with raised eyebrows. “Really.”

“It’s not as important as doing the right thing. Why are you laughing?” Laura said defensively.

“No one’s that altruistic, cupcake. And you’re allowed to be miffed at someone getting praise for what I’m sure was an extensively researched piece of work.”

She was still looking at her closely, and Laura was aware of the little space that was between them. “So maybe I wanted a bit of credit.” Carmilla smiled at the admission. “Doesn’t matter anyway. My editor found out and shut it down. Then fired me, just for good measure.”

“Are you going to let that stop you?”

“No. It’s just a setback.”

Carmilla hummed. “And you need twenty grand for?”

“I told you. Bills. Rent. Student loans. A bit to tie me over.”

“A bit?” Carmilla grinned. “I’m stealing from a gang so you can have a bit to tie you over?”

“Small price to pay for your fingers.”

Carmilla laughed. “I like to think my fingers are worth more than that.”

Laura grinned at her. She felt at ease with Carmilla, which was strange as the last time they had shared a car there was a gun between them.

She could kiss her. The sudden thought startled Laura, but it was true. She could lean over now, close the small, infuriating space between them and kiss her. By the way Carmilla’s where flicking to her lips she was sure it would be well received.

Carmilla’s sigh stopped her. “Straka’s just left,” she said, grinning a bit more when Laura leant back and took a breath. “Hold that thought, eh, cutie?”

“What thought?” said Laura defensively.

Carmilla just laughed. She winked at Laura as she got out the car and hurried towards the warehouse.

//

She’d never kept watch, and had no idea what it consisted of. Or how long it took to steal twenty thousand dollars.

The answer was less than fifteen minutes if Carmilla hurtling out the warehouse was anything to go by, two men running behind her. She ran to the cars passenger side, a bag slung over her shoulder, and wildly gesturing to Laura in a way she thought meant take over the driving.

Laura slid over and started the engine. Carmilla threw herself into the car.

This time when she was told to drive, Laura didn’t tell her to piss off.

//

“Are you hurt?”

Carmilla jumped as Laura suddenly rounded on her when they got back to her apartment.

“No.”

“Then why is there blood on the bag of money?”

“It isn’t mine?”

“And the blood on your shirt.”

“It came this way.”

“Carm,” Laura said, exasperated but gentle. “Are you hurt?”

Carmilla sighed and shrugged off her coat. The right side of her shirt was stained red.

“It’s a scratch,” she insisted when Laura got closer and took hold of the shirt, glancing at Carmilla to confirm lifting it was okay. “Honestly, Laura, they only just caught me.”

It was a scratch, and was no longer bleeding, but Laura took out her medical kit anyway.

“Journalism a tough job, eh?” Carmilla teased as Laura gently pushed her to sit on the couch and took out a bandage and an alcohol wipe.

“My dad insists. That’s why I have a taser.”

“I did wonder about that.”

“Most fourteen year olds get clothes for their birthday. My dad got me a taser.”

Carmilla chuckled. She winced slightly as Laura ran the wipe across the cut, and sucked in a breath when she gently traced it with a finger.

Laura looked up to apologise for the pain, but found a different look in Carmilla’s eyes.

“I need to bandage it before,” Laura said.

“Before what?” Carmilla’s voice was low.

“Before I continue with that thought.”

“Hurry up, then.”

//

Carmilla woke in an unfamiliar room with an unfamiliar presence behind her. She grinned when she remembered who it, glad Laura couldn’t see and tease her about it.

She turned around so she could face her. Laura hummed and pulled her closer, before cracking open an eyelid. There was a brief moment where Laura froze and Carmilla was worried it had all been a mistake, but a small smile slowly grew on Laura’s face, and this time Carmilla let herself smile back.

“You’re still here,” Laura said with a fond smile.

“You do currently have a death grip on his waist,” Carmilla said. She brushed the hair from Laura’s face and kissed her. “And my money.”

Laura chuckled. “It’s under the bed.”

“You said it wasn’t in the apartment.”

“I lied.”

“Dishonesty,” Carmilla shook her head with a grin, “is not flattering.”

“You’re the one who stole over eighty grand in the space of a day.”

“Technically you helped. And woke up to a criminal. So we’ve both had quite the adventure.”

Laura leaned in to kiss her again. “You think you’re the first criminal I’ve woken up to?”

Carmilla gasped and pulled back. Laura laughed and pulled her in again. “We can do it again,” she said, muffled against Laura’s lips.

“The sex or the stealing.”

“It’s early and we’ve got time.” Carmilla rolled on top of her and sat up. “So why not both.”

 

 


End file.
